Dining etiquette: How to split the bill without getting shafted

对于没有准备好的人来说，集体用餐后分摊账单可能是一种令人不安的经历, and a depressing one for those strapped for cash. 如果处理不当，分摊账单可能会迫使许多人支付比预期更多的钱.

如果你曾经在集体聚餐结束后认为呆在家里吃剩菜会更好, then you know how frustrating and unfair check splitting can be.

怎样才能在不让朋友不高兴的情况下避免多花钱?

The answer is not to avoid group dinners altogether, 但要明白你同意的是什么，并知道如何巧妙地照顾自己，同时让别人在这个过程中感到高兴.

Why do some restaurants refuse to provide separate checks?

有两个常见的原因，为什么餐厅可能会直截了当地拒绝分摊你的账单.

It saves time. 在一个懒散的下午，为三个人分摊账单对服务员来说通常不是问题. But when it comes to closing out a table of 20 on a busy Friday night, taking the time to split up a check can create a ripple effect. 服务器在信用卡机器上花费的每一分钟都是1)其他服务器不能使用这台机器的时间，2)服务器没有注意到其他客户. The easiest solution to avoid this is to simple say no to splitting checks. 

The system is to blame. In some situations, 服务员可能会避免分开付款，因为餐馆使用的是过时的销售点(PoS)系统，需要重新输入整个订单来生成单独的支票. 

Splitting the bill is never fair.

This is a fact. 如果你断然拒绝和别人分担费用，你最好一个人吃饭. That’s not what a group dinner is. With that said, 有很多方法可以避免你不同意的巨额账单.

这里有一些建议，教你一个有礼貌的人(像你一样)如何处理有争议的“一次支票”情况.

Speak up.

Ask the server for separate checks right when you place your order. It's not only easier for you, but the server as well. 

As mentioned before, 许多餐馆的POS系统不会逐项列出每个人点的东西的价格, 这就是为什么你经常会陷入被迫与朋友分担费用的境地. 

By asking to split the check beforehand, 你可以在用餐结束时确定付款情况. 利用这一时刻向大家解释，你想省钱，不打算点饮料或昂贵的开胃菜.

Now, 如果你一想到要提前公布预算，就觉得胃不舒服, you're not alone — but you may be surprised to learn most of your friends feel the same way. 

No one will think you're cheap. 如果他们这样做，他们可能会把自己的金钱不安全感投射到你身上.   

Don't make it awkward.

虽然说得到一个公平的价格是可以的，但不要让事情变得奇怪. What's considered weird? Glad you asked!

• 不要提起过去的经历，比如你被骗付了比预期多的钱, especially if you’re dining with the same group. 这会让人觉得你在怀恨在心，而且会让人觉得你在被动地攻击别人.
• Don’t skip the tip, even if you feel like you’re paying more. 不能因为你的团队不能解决细节问题，就可以偷工减料，损害服务员的工资. Even if you feel like it’s the restaurant’s fault for not itemizing checks, this was not a policy your server had a say in.
• Don’t take advantage of those willing to pay more. If you say at the beginning of the meal that you’re not buying appetizers, don’t dig into the appetizers. It doesn't matter if they're “for the table.” The fundamental difference between being budget wise and cheap depends on how you take from others. If you’re offered to try the appetizer, say something like “看起来很棒，但我向自己保证今年不会在开胃菜上多花钱.” The person will either respect your resolve, or reply “I ordered it, it’s my treat.” Only once it’s offered should you feel it’s OK to eat someone else’s meal. Just don’t overdo it.

Deal with the drinkers. 

酒是造成账单费用差异的罪魁祸首，因为它是一顿饭最大的支出之一.

我最近遇到的情况是，我的朋友声称他应该少付一份，因为他只点了一个5美元的汉堡——他没有意识到他喝的3杯8美元的威士忌酸酒比我的电子烟花的钱还多. It sounds silly, but it happens more than you think.

如果你和一群喝酒的人一起吃饭，而且不喝酒, 鼓励那些喝酒的人单独结账是合理的，这样你就不必买单了.

另一种解决办法是平均分配食物的总额，但让喝酒的人留下小费.

Elect a mathematician.

让每个人都盯着收据，猜测他们欠了多少钱，几乎没有好结果. 在赌桌上提名一个聪明的人来计算数字，并确保支票被平均分配.

To save time, you can use mobile apps like Splitwise or Settle Up to do the accounting for you.

Split the tip evenly.

有时候，真正难以分割的不是账单，而是税和小费. It’s proper etiquette to split tax and tip evenly among the table. While some people do mind splitting the entire bill, most don't have a problem with splitting the tip evenly, 因为它只占总账单的一小部分，所以结账更快. 

When in doubt, order last.

如果你已经用尽了上面所有的选择，仍然担心你会为别人昂贵的饭菜买单, try ordering last. After all, if you’re going to pay for everyone else’s dinner, you may as well get a good meal out of it.

No matter your approach, 你的目标应该是用一种让你和其他人都感到舒适的方式来分摊账单. 在用餐开始时制定并商定付款计划，可以减少之后头痛和怨恨的可能性. 不要害怕用礼貌而直接的方式来控制局面. If you feel close enough with people to share a meal with them, then discussing money shouldn’t be a contentious or uncomfortable topic.

If you enjoyed this article, definitely check out Fighting the urge to keep up with your rich friends, 当你的朋友像有钱人一样花钱时，我们会探讨如何解决嫉妒的情绪. 

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